Another Sunday Another Listening Session

November 3, 2019
1730-1930
Sunway Pyramid In front of Celcom Blue Cube

Session 38 - Sunway Pyramid

Session 38
Date : October 6, 2019 (Sunday)
Time : 1730-1930
Venue : Sunway Pyramid, in front of Celcom Blue Cube
Lead : Aisyah

Session 37 - PPR Lembah Subang

Session 37
Date : October 5, 2019 (Saturday)
Time : 0800 - 1130
Place : PPR Lembah Subang

We’re listening, so come and chat with us

Thank you Malaysia Outlook

By Azrol Ali

 |Jan 25, 2018

 Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, or at least someone to listen to your concerns now and then.

In a bid to help people to cope with their problems before their  worries spiral into mental disorders, a group of Psychology Department students from Segi Kolej, Subang Jaya is providing the public voluntary services such as sharing and listening dubbed Sidewalk Talk.

This is the first of its kind project in Malaysia.The community project is organised by the Faculty of Psychology Education which is led by Mengzhen Lim. It provides opportunities for the public to express their concerns to volunteer trainee students.

Based on Lim’s observations, most individuals prefer to express their concerns rather than to seek advice.

Sidewalk Talk: Jangan pendam perasaan, luahkan

Thank you Malaysia Outlook. Source : http://www.malaysiaoutlook.com/2018/01/24/sidewalk-talk-jangan-pendam-perasaan-luahkan/

By Zura Ahmad and Azrol Ali

 |Jan 24, 2018

Adakah rakyat negara ini sedang berhadapan dengan masalah mental yang serius? Itu persoalan yang mungkin timbul apabila negara sering digemparkan dengan beberapa kejadian berkaitan masalah kesihatan mental.

Setiap kejadian yang berlaku menunjukkan bahawa mereka boleh dikatakan mempunyai simptom-simptom masalah kesihatan mental yang serius yang berpunca di tempat kerja, rumah serta tekanan perasaan atau stress.

Kebiasaannya, mereka yang mengalami masalah kesihatan mental ini tidak mampu untuk mengawal emosi dan berfikir secara positif serta akan bertindak secara melulu yang akhirnya mengakibatkan kemalangan sama ada kepada diri sendiri atau orang sekitar.

Bagi menyatakan sokongan dan mengatasi masalah mental yang semakin membimbangkan, sekumpulan 30 pelajar Jurusan Psikologi dari Segi Kolej, Subang Jaya menyediakan perkhidmatan mendengar iaitu Sidewalk Talk: you Talk, We Listen yang pertama di negara ini kepada orang ramai.

Projek komuniti yang dikelolakan pensyarah Fakulti Pendidikan Psikologi, Mengzhen Lim ini memberi peluang kepada orang ramai untuk meluahkan masalah kepada pelajar terlatih yang menyertainya secara sukarela.

Mengzhen berkata, kira-kira 80 orang telah menyertai sesi mendengar yang diadakan sejak lima bulan lalu.

“Ini adalah sistem sokongan kepada mereka yang ada masalah dan boleh duduk meluahkan masalah mereka dalam tempoh lima hingga 10 minit.

“Khidmat ini adalah percuma dan semua perbualan dirahsiakan,” katanya ketika ditemui di Subang Jaya, baru-baru ini.

Menurutnya, semua permasalahan yang diluahkan orang ramai ini akan direkodkan bagi membuat satu kajian mengenai kesihatan mental rakyat negara ini supaya dapat diperbaiki cara untuk mengatasinya pada masa depan.

Berdasarkan pemerhatian Mengzhen, kebanyakan individu lebih gemar untuk meluahkan masalah mereka daripada mendapatkan nasihat.

“Budaya kita ini, kalau orang beritahu masalah nanti akan bagi nasihat tetapi kita di sini hanya mendengar sahaja untuk mengenali dan tahu masalah mereka,” katanya.

Jelasnya lagi, pelajar yang terlibat juga diberikan pendedahan awal sebelum menjadi pendengar dan mempraktiskan empati kepada orang ramai supaya tidak memberi kesan kepada emosi mereka.

Pensyarah yang berusia 28 tahun itu berkata, kebanyakan individu yang menyertai projek mereka adalah berusia 18 hingga 25 tahun dan mengalami masalah seperti rumah tangga dan tekanan dalam pelajaran.

Mengzhen berkata, jika ada individu yang mengalami masalah yang memerlukan bantuan selanjutnya, pihaknya juga ada bekerjasama dengan Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Subang Jaya, Persatuan Kesihatan Mental Malaysia dan Befrienders Kuala Lumpur.

“Orang ramai tidak mengira usia dijemput untuk hadir untuk duduk berbual dengan kita dan ini adalah satu budaya sihat yang kita mahu ciptakan untuk komuniti,” katanya.

Sidewalk talk yang diadakan pada setiap hari Ahad bermula jam 5.30 hingga 7.30 malam di beberapa kawasan di Subang Jaya.

Orang ramai yang ingin mengetahui dengan lebih lanjut dan mengikuti sesi tersebut boleh layari PsychologyMalaysia.blogspot.my.

Menyimpan masalah, membiarkan topik yang tidak difahami berlalu begitu sahaja adalah antara tanggungan yang menjadikan masalah tertunggak dan semakin menghimpit jiwa anda.

Apabila ini berlaku, potensi diri akan tersembunyi, dan alangkah ruginya apabila masalah yang sedikit akan menjejaskan masa depan anda.

A listening ear on the sidewalk

By Melati A. Jalil Melati A. Jalil
https://www.themalaysianinsight.com/chinese/s/29518/ 

A GROUP of students and lecturers have started a community listening project aimed at erasing the stigma of mental health problems, which a government survey shows affected nearly one in three Malaysians.

The first of its kind in Asia, the “Sidewalk Talk Malaysia” project provides a listening ear to anyone who feels he has no one to talk about his problems.

Those with serious problems are advised on where they can go to for counselling and treatment.

“When someone listens to you, you will feel that you matter and are important,” said psychology lecturer Lim Mengzhen, one of sidewalk talk’s volunteers.

“The feeling that we want to create through this project is to make someone feel important. ‘That whatever I say, someone is listening’ – that’s how we promote good mental health,” Lim told The Malaysian Insight.

“We are giving voices to the people, all voices will be respected regardless of whether or not we agree or disagree with what is being said,” said Lim of SEGI College Subang Jaya.  

The project is inspired by a similar one that originated in San Francisco, US.

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia is the first community listening project in Asia, run by student and lecturer volunteers to promote the importance of human connection through empathic listening in public spaces. 

The group partnered with Malaysian Mental Health Association (MMHA), Befrienders Kuala Lumpur and Department of Social Welfare.

Sessions are held once every two weeks in two locations in the Sunway Pyramid Shopping Mall. Each session lasts 10 minutes during which anyone can drop by talk and share anything he likes.

The project comes at a time when mental health problems are increasing, according to the 2015 national health and morbidity study.

In 2015, 2.2 million Malaysians aged 16 and above, or 29.2% of the population, experienced mental health problems.

This is a sharp increase from the 11.2% recorded in 2006.

Positive feelings  

Lim said the idea for the project came from the desire to educate the public on services psychologists provide and the importance of maintaining mental health.  

“After discussions between lecturers and students, we concluded that we needed to build our own support system, otherwise statistics will remain statistics.

“We thought of peer counselling at first, but realised that it’s difficult because you need to have licences. So, we swapped the idea of peer counselling with listening.”

Their research led them to Sidewalk Talk San Francisco. They wrote to the US group and the latter replied and trained the Malaysian volunteers. The group adapted the US module to fit Malaysian culture.   

Sidewalk Talk provides listeners who can communicate in English, Malay, Mandarin, Tamil as well as Japanese.

At the moment, the team plans to continue the project until next April, before coming out with statistics to highlight the importance of the project.

About 30 student volunteers and lecturers from the psychology department have spent more than 100 hours on the project.

The statistics compiled from 77 individuals over five months have been encouraging.

Some 83.9% said they left feeling positive after a listening session. About 35.5% said they had no social support or people to listen to them.

The number one topic was family, (40.3% of participants), followed by academics (36.4%), friendship issues (26%), work (16.9%) and relationships (15.6%).

Empathy over advice  

The project’s organising committee chairman Shymala Chandran said the project is to provide a space for emphatic listening.

“We try to keep our empathy in the conversation. It means I listen to you, not with the intention to respond but I want you to feel that you are being heard,” she said.

“We have heard cases of students committing suicide, like for example because of UPSR results. People will ask why someone commits suicide over UPSR and they leave it at that.

“They don’t dwell further about the contributing factors that lead to suicide.

“By neglecting these contributing factors, suicide rates get higher.”

Lim stressed that the project did not provide crisis intervention, therapy or counselling.

“The reason we don’t give treatment is because people need listening ears, not advice. And we want to create equal feelings.

“And if you think you need help after we listen to you, we will share information on services or places you can go. Whether or not you want to go, is up to you.

“We are educating the public. So, we just give the right information to the people.”

And the sessions are not just for those with problems.

“People can just come and have a seat and talk about anything. For instance, if they got a promotion at work, we will be very happy to listen to them,” said Shymala.  

She said the group is looking for supporting partners who are willing to collaborate to expand the project.

“We want to expand our project. Right now, Sidewalk Talk Malaysia is under SEGi. If we gain enough support and help from other partners or organisations we can take it nationwide.” – December 27, 2017.

Internship - Community Listening Project

Are you a person who like to "think out of the box" or are you a person who not only think, but like to start something outside the box ?

Join our internship program. For more information :https://goo.gl/PHgzNM

Terima Kasih Kosmo!

Terima Kasih Kosmo!

Berita penuh : https://goo.gl/TjPDKx

Perlukan seseorang untuk mendengar luahan anda ? Jom ! 

Kami berharap dengan penyiaran berita ini, orang ramai yang ingin didengari akan hadir kepada kami.

Kami juga ingin menhargai sokongan yang diberikan oleh pertubuhan sosial seperti The Befrienders Kuala Lumpur, Persatuan Kesihatan Mental Malaysia dan Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat kepada projek kami. 

Kami tidak menawarkan sebarang bentuk kaunselling. Jikalau peserta kami memerlukan batuan kaunselling, kami akan membekalkan mereka dengan maklumat mengenai Kaunselling yang berpatutan.

Happy World Mental Health Day 2017

Let's great everyone we meet today with "Happy World Mental Health Day".

The theme for 2017 is Mental Health at the Workplace. Usually people start an article with all the negative statistics about an issue, for that, please ask Uncle Google. I would like to share few tips on how we can promote good mental health at the workplace. My aim is not to change your existing belief about things, but to offer an alternative.

1. Whatsapp or any communication application. 

No one is really happy about getting text about work after working hours. You will never know a message that you have sent to your colleague that does not require an immediate reply , but causes him or her a sleepless night or moody during the dinner time with the love one.  We need time for our self. If you need to text your colleague about work after work, let's think twice. You might want to download different apps for work matter and off work matter. For example, you use Whatsapp for work and Facebook Messenger for off work matters. You can always delete the apps that you use for work after working hours. The world won't stop just because you didn't reply a text about your work. Excessive use of technology is not good for mental health.

2. Practice Emphatic Listening 

Listen to each other, not to reply, but with the intention to understand. Sometime we assume we know the reason, even before someone explain it to us. This is not empathy. Whenever your staffs have any requests, give him or her some time to explain the reasons. For example, if you staff asks for an increment, do not assume that it is because he or she wants more money. Maybe, he has a sick mother who highly depended on, maybe her son is sick or maybe he just wants more money. We don't know, and the sad thing is that, many times, we don't even bother to ask! And we assumed that we know. Just listen and you might figure out the real reason. People who felt heard will know that they matter. This is a good mental health practice. Besides that, a simple act count. Stop whatever you are doing, clear your mind and listen. A heart centered listening is a key for a healthy workplace.

3. Explain WHY before WHAT.  

Beware of this straight to the point attitudes. Straight to the point is good because it saves time and people know what you want. But telling people what you want are unlikely to to drive any behavior. This is because our Limbic brain that helps us make decisions do not have the capacity for language. If you intention of putting up company memo is not limited to telling employees what but to drive behavior, always explain WHY before WHAT. Please listen to Simon Sinek on TED for more information. Knowing WHY is good for mental health. 

4. Work life integration

Many believe that work life integration is the replacement of the concept work life balance. Yes, work life balance sounds good and it is actually practical in some sense. But, no Disneyland staff who want to stay at Disneyland for 24-7. Work life integration should have its limits. Do not tell your wife about how good is your work after she is having a bad day. Integrating work stuff at home is not good for mental health. 

5. Be yourself. 

If you are working in an environment that you can't be yourself, never give up on building an environment that your children or grandchildren can be themselves. Changes do not come easily. Work for it, be patient. What is right can't be wrong, and it is a matter of time. If you don't like your manager, just don't be like them someday when you are the manager. So that, our children can work in an environment that they can be themselves. This environment is good for mental health. 

6. You don't have to be ... 

You don't have to always be number one, or always want to beat your competitor in whatever thing you are doing. If you think you need to, you will be exhausted very soon. Your real competitor is yourself, are you doing a better job than yesterday? Are you improving as compared to last week? Have you tried your best? A realistic expectation is important for good mental health.

7. Reach out for help... 

Your husband or your wife or your children is not Psychologist. They do not have all the professional skills to help you to deal with your work stress e.t.c. Do not expect them to fully understand your situation. Make it a habit to reach out to the right people, in this case a psychologist or a counselor whenever you have problems which the people around you don't have ability to help. Some counselling services are being offered as affordable as RM20. Please check it our from organisation like Befriender or Malaysian Mental Health Association. Reach out to the right people is good for mental health. 

8. A simple thank you.. 

Still remember my first psychology class, this is what my professor said "We all take thing for granted. We expect the fire department to arrive when our house catches on fire, courts to deal with justice towards those who offends us, everybody to have an access to medical care when he or she gets sick, every child to have an equal access to get an education and to achieve his or her dream, to be paid a decent wage for the labor that we do, to be able to participate in political decisions that affect us e.t.c. Psychology or Social Science in general are disciplines that do not take such things for granted.". Say thank you to anyone who helps. No one is born to help you. Do not ever said it is their responsibility because it is their job! It is not that simple. People who help you, are giving a portion of his or her life to you. Believe me, sometime what employees need, is a simple thank you. Saying thank you is good for mental health.

9. Application 

Use application like SUPERBETTER, it is a game to help us to keep a good mental health. Use INSTANT - LIFE LOG to track how much time did you spend on mobile phone every day. 

by

MZ

Selangorkini Okt 2, 2017 : Anda luah, kami dengar

Versi Digital : https://goo.gl/tfLMyS

Versi Online : https://selangorkini.my/2017/10/anda-luah-kami-dengar 

Bukan mudah rupanya untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik.

Tulisan sukarelawati projek, Cik Aqila Azizan. dia merupakan pelajar SEGi College Subang Jaya.

Bukan mudah rupanya untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik, terlalu banyak saya belajar, untuk turunkan ego kita dan sekurang-kurangnya memahami insan lain yang dalam diversiti latar belakang yang berbeza untuk duduk dan mendengar dengan baik(emphatic listening).

Bukan mudah juga untuk memberi kefahaman kepada stigma masyarakat kita yang sudah terbiasa memendam rasa dan merasai mereka masih dalam kondisi yang mereka sangka sudah cukup baik walhal tidak, untuk meneruskan kehidupan. Tak semua merasai keluarga mereka adalah insan terbaik untuk memberi luahan rasa. Tak semua orang Tuhan kurnia famili yang baik. Ujian setiap kita adalah berbeza.

Alhamdulillah, bagi yang ada kefahaman agama yang baik,tidak kira agama apa sekalipun, anda sepatutnya bersyukur kerana memahami dan merasai keberadaan Tuhan untuk mendengar dikala susah dan senang. Bagaimana pula yang kurang kefahaman mereka tentang kepentingan agama dalam kehidupan? Dalam Psikologi telah terbukti, seseorang yang memahami agamanya dengan baik, dapat membantu mereka dalam menjalani kehidupan seharian dengan baik dari sudut fizikal, mental, spiritualiti dsbginya.

Memperlihatkan keperluan itu, kami percaya dengan adanya program ini, mampu membantu anda di luar sana untuk lebih difahami dengan hanya luangkan sedikit masa untuk berkongsi apa jua yang anda ingin kami dengari, semudah dengan hanya permulaan pertanyaan "apa yang anda lakukan pada hari ini?" dan seterusnya...

Semoga langkah kecil ini, Dia redhai. ❤ 

Spread the Kheyr(kebaikan) !

聆听是最美好的事物. by SL

大家好，我是在Segi College Subang Jaya 就读Diploma in Psychology的学生，也是在Sidewalk Talk担任过聆听者和组长的志愿者。

从小，就很喜欢听听别人的故事，也就是因为这么的一个理由，让我开始踏上就读心理学的路程，并且想要当一个可以让大家信任和舒服的人。我已参加这个活动两次了，第一次是担任聆听者，聆听着大家的故事，而第二次是担任带领聆听者的组长。在认识这个活动时，觉得这个活动真的充满了各种各样的意义，因为可以帮助不少带着烦恼的人，也感觉可以从中学到很多东西和认识不同的人。

过程中有很多需要学习的地方。打个比方说，当一个诉说者问无数个问题而且想要你给个建议，你应该怎么应对？当一个诉说者觉得迷茫，想要得到称赞或者想要朋友，那你应该怎么应对？把诉说者说的话，用同理心去明白，并且站在他／她的立场去明白，这些一切一切的东西都要一一去明白也要清楚明白应该怎么面对，因为当一个回答，错了，过后的事情发生会有让对方不愉快或者让对方觉得“我们”只会让他们更加压力等等的各种问题就会慢慢的浮现发生。所以学习过程中虽然要用在一个美好的星期日，可是经过了不少的锻炼和学习，真的感觉很值得。

终于，在我第一次担任聆听者时，心情真的非常紧张。。。 一来是害怕自己会说错话，二来是害怕自己做不好自己该做的东西；可是在紧张的同时也感觉到非常的兴奋，因为我知道我在做我喜欢的事，也知道我终于可以在这2017年做一件很大很有意义的事了！ 带着这种心情去见我的诉说者，才发现其实我的所有的操心，不是我应该需要操心的，因为真的比想象中的还来得简单，心情也就从紧张的氛围中轻松下来。

第二次的活动中，组长的位置空了出来，我便提起勇气担任自己没担任过的组长。过程中，我给自己的表现打分6/10分吧！组长的责任多很多，因为需要关心的不只是自己，还有别的组员。很紧张，比第一次活动时还紧张，因为我需要在不到两个星期的时间内要学习什么东西是组长应该做的或需要做的。在和前任组长交接工作也搞清楚要做什么了后，就去和组员们打声招呼，提醒大家星期日需要几点到达学校。这一天的活动很成功，虽然有很多不足的地方比如，资料没写完还是没沟通好诉说者应该交给谁，状况很多；可是在这个过程中我学到了沟通是一个很重要的事情，因为想要让一个活动成功，沟通成了最重要的东西，才能把活动做好。

也很谢谢在担任组长的期间，认识了自己没有机会认识的人们，达成了一个合作伙伴的精神！

在这里再次谢谢我的组员们，理解我第一次担任组长，状况百出，也很好的把份内事情做好，让活动顺利的完成！ :D

最后，我也感谢自己可以走向心理学的路程，虽然坎坷，可是不后悔。 读了心理学，知道了人与人之间怎么相处，也知道了人与人之间关系的奥妙是怎么形成，也因为这样，大学生活里也认识一班很要好的朋友和老师，因为有他们，成就了我，也照亮了未来的路途。

未来的路程一起加油！

就此别过·，

SL

A time to listen, a moment to understand

"A time to listen, a moment to understand"
A brief recount of the 1st Listening Session,
10th September 2017

 by Leonard Soyza

          

          I am a degree student majoring in the field of Psychology and my alma mater is SEGi College Subang Jaya. On the 10^th September 2017, I was gifted with the opportunity of being the session leader for the very first listening session that was aimed at increasing the awareness Malaysia has on mental health and to combat the stigma of mental health seeking behaviors, through the simples act of listening to and individuals ‘voice’. It was indeed a very bustling scene though the day, from the workshop all the way to the events end, where everyone was running around to get things done and to ensure everything is set for the listening session that was about to happen later that day. All in all, the entire event was a success, where we managed to reach 13 people in total, there was no extreme weather condition that hindered the event, and the teams’ morale was just soaring really high. It was a great start and a fulfilling experience.

           With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility, I believe in those words, because it was an important job, being the session leader and I was not built for the task at all. However, I did want to help people, no matter how small or insignificant my method was, I wanted to give back to people who are in need and help them in any way I can and that was my sole motivation through the entirety of the event and the project. I felt that my team was a major benefactor to the success of the event. There were really great listeners that day, and as I walked about observing and listening to some of the conversations, I could see how deeply involved the volunteers were in engaging with the participants and how they listened and gave participants their undivided attention. This really showed me that the listeners were really in line with the aim and goals of the project, and I was able to see that in all the relieved faces of the people who came to share their story and no complains whatsoever! I can’t forget the off-duty volunteers who actually came forward to help bring more people in for the event and some were helping out by distributing giveaways, relieving some of our listeners who were worn out, among other things. The coherence of the team was really incredible and it was truly a major factor in making the day a success, and I felt really blessed having them by my side.

           I was also given the chance to be a listener for some people who came by to be part of the event. It was a very interesting experience, as I was able to listen to people who had a lot of ‘emotional load’ kept in their hearts and when they let it out to me, I somehow, instinctively felt in tuned with that individual, and that’s when I truly experienced empathy. That heart wrenching feeling when people share their story with you, the sudden mindfulness you experience listening to their stories, it truly was a unique experience for me and I was quite mesmerized at the way people tend to share things when prompted in the right way. During one session, I was asked for my opinion on a matter we discussed, and when I reversed the question back to the person, more stories just came flowing out of her, and she shared even more with me. After being an empathetic listener, I truly understood the reason listening has such profound effects. It not only allows someone to share things that they have locked up in their hearts, but allows them to have that peace of mind, that space, to properly retrace their steps and come up with their own way of facing their problem, instead of trying to cope with improper methods like drugs or some bad habits like pornography and lack of social interaction with people. Therefore the experience was really rewarding for me and I fell that our listeners feel the same way.

        The event in general, can go a very long distance. The problem with many in conservative countries is that they lack the ability to share their problems or grievances, fearing that it may be seen as a sign of weakness. Therefore, I believe that the listening project does have benefits in allowing the populace to have that opportunity, that window, to come clean with anything they wish to talk about. Showing someone that you understand allows them to take initiative to get help and being attentive makes people feel that there is someone who cares. These are the core qualities embedded in the making of this project which allows it to act as a point of transition from obscurity in mental health to the clarity on its benefits. In the field of Psychology, especially to the students, this project is the perfect platform for them to gain exposure to different cases in the field. They get first-hand experience in counseling, where, they engage in the similar methods experts use for counselling, such as paraphrasing content of the sharing which shows the person that you understood, open ended questions to try getting more information on a certain topic that was being discussed, reverting questions for a listeners opinion where they direct the question a participant asks back to them to prompt self-reflection, and so on. It gives them a chance to understand their theoretical knowledge much better, where they can see phenomena described in a textbook or in lectures happen right in front of them. Therefore, the event can bring about great impacts on educating both the public and the aspiring psychologists.

        In a nutshell, the experience prompted me to listen to others more often. Giving advice is good, however, knowing when and how to give proper advice is something we cannot dictate. Just by being still and listening, one can help another share and ‘vent’. By just spreading the notion of understanding, one can make a huge positive difference to their society. Therefore, my hopes as a student and citizen, is that this project realizes its goals and its vision, and that more people in our society would come to realize the importance of mental health and how being ignorant to it can bring about very detrimental effects to society, especially the younger generation.

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Mental Health

I have worked as a college lecturer for almost 5 years. Some would expect that teaching is an easy job – you just go into a classroom and teach. However, the fact is: Teaching is not an easy job! I have tried to explain to many people around me that being a lecturer is a 24-hour job. A lecturer’s responsibility is more than just making sure his students pass the course they are taking. A lecturer is also indirectly involved in the mental health of his students. Without his students having good mental health, his class will not be a healthy classroom.

Technology advancement has changed the way students interact with lecturer. Students can reach me at any time, using social networks like Facebook or WhatsApp. Imagine that you are a parent and your daughter whatsapp me at 3 a.m. in the morning, saying that she is very sad and needs someone to talk, or your son telling me he is thinking of committing suicide. What do you (as a parent) expect me to do? What does society expect me to do? What happens if I miss their messages because I am away?  

“Sir, I am going through a very painful problem at home. My parents are fighting for a divorce and it is affecting me. They have left the house for almost a month which leaves me behind to handle everything all alone. They do not give me allowance anymore and I am staying alone with no transport to go almost anywhere.”

That was the message that a student texted me not long ago. I could feel her loneliness and her sense of loss. She needed support urgently. In reality, she is not the only student who suffers from life problems. And as a lecturer, I am morally responsible to help students with mental health issues.

Let’s look at some statistics on mental health, divorce and suicides. 40% of Malaysians suffer from mental health issues in their lifetime (Kanyakumari, 2017). Divorce rate in Malaysia is high (Majelan, 2016). According to Associate Professor Dr Mariani Mohd, electronic gadgets and social media are causes of high divorce rates in Malaysia (as cited in “Electronic gadgets”, 2016). Befriender’s KL publicity director, Ardy Ayadali, said that suicide is the second leading cause of death for youths between the ages of 15 and 29 in Malaysia (Pillay, 2017). The suicide rate in Malaysia is about 6 to 8 cases per 100,000 population per year and the highest suicide rate was found among young adults below 30 years old (Pillay, 2017). You can look up more statistics on mental health online. After the recent religious school fire incident, Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye has suggested that we should also focus on the mental health aspect of the incident as it may also be one of the major causes of violence (Lee, 2017).  He is spot on, of course!

The question here is:  What can we do? I asked my students in class: Who can you go to in Subang Jaya, besides the college counsellor, when you are stressed and need help? The resounding answer was “We don’t know”. Then I asked them another question: How many of you see the college counsellor for your problems? Only a handful of students raised their hands. Surprisingly as it may seems, it is not yet a culture for our students to see a counselor when they have problems. Dr Philip George had said, “The difference is Asians do not talk about their problems. Unlike Caucasians, Asians do not have the words for emotions and that is a huge barrier”.

Based on the above revelations by my students and statistic on mental health issues, it is pertinent that we come up with a project to help youths with mental health issues so that they know there is another platform for them to go to besides their college counsellors when they need someone to talk to. We need  an overdue mental health support system for our community.

Human Connection

Human connection seems to have been lost through time. During my highschool years, some students would tell their parents that they had extra co-curricular activities after school so that they can hang out with their friends. Hanging out with friends is one form of social support. This is so different from what is happening today with college students. If a college class starts at 3pm, some students come in late, follow the lesson and, if possible, want to leave early. This leaves them with little time to interact with fellow students face to face. After a semester, some students do not even know who is sitting behind them as little effort is made to get to know each other better, face to face. Hence, the human connection is lost.

Malaysians are very much into technology. Befrienders’ Ardy says there is increasing evidence that social media could contribute to suicide-related behaviour (Pillay, 2017). Last week, The Digital News Report 2017 reported that Malaysians are the world’s largest users of WhatsApp (as cited in “Malaysians are world's”, 2017). The same report also found that Facebook and YouTube are also popular with Malaysians.

We do not deny that the Internet has connected us in more ways than before but it is still important for us to be connected face to face. Health Psychologist McGonigal, during her TED talk presentation, emphasized that when we are experiencing stress, Oxytocin hormone is pumped by the pituitary gland as the stress response (McGonigal, 2016). When oxytocin is released as the stress response, it motivate us to seek support like talk to someone or telling someone how we feel. It is like how we are motivated to see a doctor when we are sick.  Thus, it is a natural process that when life is difficult, we want to be surrounded by people who care about us. So when we say that human connection is important, it does not only involve a social emotional factor but also a biological factor. As our society progresses in terms of economy, infrastructure and technology, we must continuously nurture human connection within our community.

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Six months ago, I contacted Ms Traci Ruble, the director of Sidewalk Talk, a community listening movement based in San Francisco. I told her of my intention to start Sidewalk Talk in Malaysia after explaining the mental health situation in Malaysia. She was very supportive of my intention. Together with my students, I have set up a Sidewalk Talk team in Malaysia.

Sidewalk Talk is a non-profit community listening project that aims to nurture human connection by teaching and practicing heart-centered listening in public spaces. As it promotes listening to someone in public spaces, it is relevant if we take  into consideration the fact that  there are many people who need mental health support and the fact that we will never have enough private counselling rooms for all of them.

Student volunteers undergo a few sessions of empathic listening training and apply the skills they learn during listening sessions with people who have mental health issues. Basically, they listen with the intention to understand these people, to know who they are,  to feel what they are feeling and to see things from their perspective.

We at Sidewalk Talk believe empathy is for everyone. We do not provide any advice due to experience constraints and the belief that participants know best how to solve their own problem(s). However, if a participant thinks that he need further help, we will direct him to a professional counsellor or centre.

This project also enables our student volunteers to practise experience learning while preparing them for the workforce. It gives them the opportunity to listen directly to the public as well. It is a practical hands-on experience for all future psychologists. I hope through this project, we can have more psychology graduates joining the mental health profession to cater to the demand for it in our community.

We can’t do it alone. We hope to run this project as for as long as our community needs it. As such, we would like to appeal to the public and private corporations for sponsorship. For more information about our project, please visit https://psychologymalaysia.blogspot.my/  or email us at psychologymalaysia@gmail.com

As this is a voluntary project, I would also like to appeal to the public to share information about this project with their friends. Everyone is also welcomed to join our community listening sessions. You talk, we listen.

Mengzhen Lim

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Chapter Leader

References

Kanyakumari, D. (2017, April). Depression: 40% of Malaysians will suffer from mental health issues in their lifetime. In The star online. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/Rh4KCL

Lee, L. (2017, September 18). Mental health problems could be the reason . In The star online. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/CCYByn

Majelan, S. (2016, January 12). Six divorce cases every hour among muslim couples. In Malaysiandigest. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/Hy4JsD

Malaysians are world's largest WhatsApp users. (2017, September 12). In Bernama. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/VZwBtn

McGonigal, K. (2016). The upside of stress: why stress is good for you, and how to get good at it. NY, NY: Avery.

Pillay, S. (2017, May 28). Suicide on the rise among Malaysian youth. In New straits times. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/zTXnpU

YB Hannah Yeoh visited our listening site on September 24, 2017.