Bukan mudah rupanya untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik.

Tulisan sukarelawati projek, Cik Aqila Azizan. dia merupakan pelajar SEGi College Subang Jaya.

Bukan mudah rupanya untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik, terlalu banyak saya belajar, untuk turunkan ego kita dan sekurang-kurangnya memahami insan lain yang dalam diversiti latar belakang yang berbeza untuk duduk dan mendengar dengan baik(emphatic listening).

Bukan mudah juga untuk memberi kefahaman kepada stigma masyarakat kita yang sudah terbiasa memendam rasa dan merasai mereka masih dalam kondisi yang mereka sangka sudah cukup baik walhal tidak, untuk meneruskan kehidupan. Tak semua merasai keluarga mereka adalah insan terbaik untuk memberi luahan rasa. Tak semua orang Tuhan kurnia famili yang baik. Ujian setiap kita adalah berbeza.

Alhamdulillah, bagi yang ada kefahaman agama yang baik,tidak kira agama apa sekalipun, anda sepatutnya bersyukur kerana memahami dan merasai keberadaan Tuhan untuk mendengar dikala susah dan senang. Bagaimana pula yang kurang kefahaman mereka tentang kepentingan agama dalam kehidupan? Dalam Psikologi telah terbukti, seseorang yang memahami agamanya dengan baik, dapat membantu mereka dalam menjalani kehidupan seharian dengan baik dari sudut fizikal, mental, spiritualiti dsbginya.

Memperlihatkan keperluan itu, kami percaya dengan adanya program ini, mampu membantu anda di luar sana untuk lebih difahami dengan hanya luangkan sedikit masa untuk berkongsi apa jua yang anda ingin kami dengari, semudah dengan hanya permulaan pertanyaan "apa yang anda lakukan pada hari ini?" dan seterusnya...

Semoga langkah kecil ini, Dia redhai. ❤ 

Spread the Kheyr(kebaikan) !

聆听是最美好的事物. by SL

大家好，我是在Segi College Subang Jaya 就读Diploma in Psychology的学生，也是在Sidewalk Talk担任过聆听者和组长的志愿者。

从小，就很喜欢听听别人的故事，也就是因为这么的一个理由，让我开始踏上就读心理学的路程，并且想要当一个可以让大家信任和舒服的人。我已参加这个活动两次了，第一次是担任聆听者，聆听着大家的故事，而第二次是担任带领聆听者的组长。在认识这个活动时，觉得这个活动真的充满了各种各样的意义，因为可以帮助不少带着烦恼的人，也感觉可以从中学到很多东西和认识不同的人。

过程中有很多需要学习的地方。打个比方说，当一个诉说者问无数个问题而且想要你给个建议，你应该怎么应对？当一个诉说者觉得迷茫，想要得到称赞或者想要朋友，那你应该怎么应对？把诉说者说的话，用同理心去明白，并且站在他／她的立场去明白，这些一切一切的东西都要一一去明白也要清楚明白应该怎么面对，因为当一个回答，错了，过后的事情发生会有让对方不愉快或者让对方觉得“我们”只会让他们更加压力等等的各种问题就会慢慢的浮现发生。所以学习过程中虽然要用在一个美好的星期日，可是经过了不少的锻炼和学习，真的感觉很值得。

终于，在我第一次担任聆听者时，心情真的非常紧张。。。 一来是害怕自己会说错话，二来是害怕自己做不好自己该做的东西；可是在紧张的同时也感觉到非常的兴奋，因为我知道我在做我喜欢的事，也知道我终于可以在这2017年做一件很大很有意义的事了！ 带着这种心情去见我的诉说者，才发现其实我的所有的操心，不是我应该需要操心的，因为真的比想象中的还来得简单，心情也就从紧张的氛围中轻松下来。

第二次的活动中，组长的位置空了出来，我便提起勇气担任自己没担任过的组长。过程中，我给自己的表现打分6/10分吧！组长的责任多很多，因为需要关心的不只是自己，还有别的组员。很紧张，比第一次活动时还紧张，因为我需要在不到两个星期的时间内要学习什么东西是组长应该做的或需要做的。在和前任组长交接工作也搞清楚要做什么了后，就去和组员们打声招呼，提醒大家星期日需要几点到达学校。这一天的活动很成功，虽然有很多不足的地方比如，资料没写完还是没沟通好诉说者应该交给谁，状况很多；可是在这个过程中我学到了沟通是一个很重要的事情，因为想要让一个活动成功，沟通成了最重要的东西，才能把活动做好。

也很谢谢在担任组长的期间，认识了自己没有机会认识的人们，达成了一个合作伙伴的精神！

在这里再次谢谢我的组员们，理解我第一次担任组长，状况百出，也很好的把份内事情做好，让活动顺利的完成！ :D

最后，我也感谢自己可以走向心理学的路程，虽然坎坷，可是不后悔。 读了心理学，知道了人与人之间怎么相处，也知道了人与人之间关系的奥妙是怎么形成，也因为这样，大学生活里也认识一班很要好的朋友和老师，因为有他们，成就了我，也照亮了未来的路途。

未来的路程一起加油！

就此别过·，

SL

A time to listen, a moment to understand

"A time to listen, a moment to understand"
A brief recount of the 1st Listening Session,
10th September 2017

 by Leonard Soyza

          

          I am a degree student majoring in the field of Psychology and my alma mater is SEGi College Subang Jaya. On the 10^th September 2017, I was gifted with the opportunity of being the session leader for the very first listening session that was aimed at increasing the awareness Malaysia has on mental health and to combat the stigma of mental health seeking behaviors, through the simples act of listening to and individuals ‘voice’. It was indeed a very bustling scene though the day, from the workshop all the way to the events end, where everyone was running around to get things done and to ensure everything is set for the listening session that was about to happen later that day. All in all, the entire event was a success, where we managed to reach 13 people in total, there was no extreme weather condition that hindered the event, and the teams’ morale was just soaring really high. It was a great start and a fulfilling experience.

           With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility, I believe in those words, because it was an important job, being the session leader and I was not built for the task at all. However, I did want to help people, no matter how small or insignificant my method was, I wanted to give back to people who are in need and help them in any way I can and that was my sole motivation through the entirety of the event and the project. I felt that my team was a major benefactor to the success of the event. There were really great listeners that day, and as I walked about observing and listening to some of the conversations, I could see how deeply involved the volunteers were in engaging with the participants and how they listened and gave participants their undivided attention. This really showed me that the listeners were really in line with the aim and goals of the project, and I was able to see that in all the relieved faces of the people who came to share their story and no complains whatsoever! I can’t forget the off-duty volunteers who actually came forward to help bring more people in for the event and some were helping out by distributing giveaways, relieving some of our listeners who were worn out, among other things. The coherence of the team was really incredible and it was truly a major factor in making the day a success, and I felt really blessed having them by my side.

           I was also given the chance to be a listener for some people who came by to be part of the event. It was a very interesting experience, as I was able to listen to people who had a lot of ‘emotional load’ kept in their hearts and when they let it out to me, I somehow, instinctively felt in tuned with that individual, and that’s when I truly experienced empathy. That heart wrenching feeling when people share their story with you, the sudden mindfulness you experience listening to their stories, it truly was a unique experience for me and I was quite mesmerized at the way people tend to share things when prompted in the right way. During one session, I was asked for my opinion on a matter we discussed, and when I reversed the question back to the person, more stories just came flowing out of her, and she shared even more with me. After being an empathetic listener, I truly understood the reason listening has such profound effects. It not only allows someone to share things that they have locked up in their hearts, but allows them to have that peace of mind, that space, to properly retrace their steps and come up with their own way of facing their problem, instead of trying to cope with improper methods like drugs or some bad habits like pornography and lack of social interaction with people. Therefore the experience was really rewarding for me and I fell that our listeners feel the same way.

        The event in general, can go a very long distance. The problem with many in conservative countries is that they lack the ability to share their problems or grievances, fearing that it may be seen as a sign of weakness. Therefore, I believe that the listening project does have benefits in allowing the populace to have that opportunity, that window, to come clean with anything they wish to talk about. Showing someone that you understand allows them to take initiative to get help and being attentive makes people feel that there is someone who cares. These are the core qualities embedded in the making of this project which allows it to act as a point of transition from obscurity in mental health to the clarity on its benefits. In the field of Psychology, especially to the students, this project is the perfect platform for them to gain exposure to different cases in the field. They get first-hand experience in counseling, where, they engage in the similar methods experts use for counselling, such as paraphrasing content of the sharing which shows the person that you understood, open ended questions to try getting more information on a certain topic that was being discussed, reverting questions for a listeners opinion where they direct the question a participant asks back to them to prompt self-reflection, and so on. It gives them a chance to understand their theoretical knowledge much better, where they can see phenomena described in a textbook or in lectures happen right in front of them. Therefore, the event can bring about great impacts on educating both the public and the aspiring psychologists.

        In a nutshell, the experience prompted me to listen to others more often. Giving advice is good, however, knowing when and how to give proper advice is something we cannot dictate. Just by being still and listening, one can help another share and ‘vent’. By just spreading the notion of understanding, one can make a huge positive difference to their society. Therefore, my hopes as a student and citizen, is that this project realizes its goals and its vision, and that more people in our society would come to realize the importance of mental health and how being ignorant to it can bring about very detrimental effects to society, especially the younger generation.

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Mental Health

I have worked as a college lecturer for almost 5 years. Some would expect that teaching is an easy job – you just go into a classroom and teach. However, the fact is: Teaching is not an easy job! I have tried to explain to many people around me that being a lecturer is a 24-hour job. A lecturer’s responsibility is more than just making sure his students pass the course they are taking. A lecturer is also indirectly involved in the mental health of his students. Without his students having good mental health, his class will not be a healthy classroom.

Technology advancement has changed the way students interact with lecturer. Students can reach me at any time, using social networks like Facebook or WhatsApp. Imagine that you are a parent and your daughter whatsapp me at 3 a.m. in the morning, saying that she is very sad and needs someone to talk, or your son telling me he is thinking of committing suicide. What do you (as a parent) expect me to do? What does society expect me to do? What happens if I miss their messages because I am away?  

“Sir, I am going through a very painful problem at home. My parents are fighting for a divorce and it is affecting me. They have left the house for almost a month which leaves me behind to handle everything all alone. They do not give me allowance anymore and I am staying alone with no transport to go almost anywhere.”

That was the message that a student texted me not long ago. I could feel her loneliness and her sense of loss. She needed support urgently. In reality, she is not the only student who suffers from life problems. And as a lecturer, I am morally responsible to help students with mental health issues.

Let’s look at some statistics on mental health, divorce and suicides. 40% of Malaysians suffer from mental health issues in their lifetime (Kanyakumari, 2017). Divorce rate in Malaysia is high (Majelan, 2016). According to Associate Professor Dr Mariani Mohd, electronic gadgets and social media are causes of high divorce rates in Malaysia (as cited in “Electronic gadgets”, 2016). Befriender’s KL publicity director, Ardy Ayadali, said that suicide is the second leading cause of death for youths between the ages of 15 and 29 in Malaysia (Pillay, 2017). The suicide rate in Malaysia is about 6 to 8 cases per 100,000 population per year and the highest suicide rate was found among young adults below 30 years old (Pillay, 2017). You can look up more statistics on mental health online. After the recent religious school fire incident, Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye has suggested that we should also focus on the mental health aspect of the incident as it may also be one of the major causes of violence (Lee, 2017).  He is spot on, of course!

The question here is:  What can we do? I asked my students in class: Who can you go to in Subang Jaya, besides the college counsellor, when you are stressed and need help? The resounding answer was “We don’t know”. Then I asked them another question: How many of you see the college counsellor for your problems? Only a handful of students raised their hands. Surprisingly as it may seems, it is not yet a culture for our students to see a counselor when they have problems. Dr Philip George had said, “The difference is Asians do not talk about their problems. Unlike Caucasians, Asians do not have the words for emotions and that is a huge barrier”.

Based on the above revelations by my students and statistic on mental health issues, it is pertinent that we come up with a project to help youths with mental health issues so that they know there is another platform for them to go to besides their college counsellors when they need someone to talk to. We need  an overdue mental health support system for our community.

Human Connection

Human connection seems to have been lost through time. During my highschool years, some students would tell their parents that they had extra co-curricular activities after school so that they can hang out with their friends. Hanging out with friends is one form of social support. This is so different from what is happening today with college students. If a college class starts at 3pm, some students come in late, follow the lesson and, if possible, want to leave early. This leaves them with little time to interact with fellow students face to face. After a semester, some students do not even know who is sitting behind them as little effort is made to get to know each other better, face to face. Hence, the human connection is lost.

Malaysians are very much into technology. Befrienders’ Ardy says there is increasing evidence that social media could contribute to suicide-related behaviour (Pillay, 2017). Last week, The Digital News Report 2017 reported that Malaysians are the world’s largest users of WhatsApp (as cited in “Malaysians are world's”, 2017). The same report also found that Facebook and YouTube are also popular with Malaysians.

We do not deny that the Internet has connected us in more ways than before but it is still important for us to be connected face to face. Health Psychologist McGonigal, during her TED talk presentation, emphasized that when we are experiencing stress, Oxytocin hormone is pumped by the pituitary gland as the stress response (McGonigal, 2016). When oxytocin is released as the stress response, it motivate us to seek support like talk to someone or telling someone how we feel. It is like how we are motivated to see a doctor when we are sick.  Thus, it is a natural process that when life is difficult, we want to be surrounded by people who care about us. So when we say that human connection is important, it does not only involve a social emotional factor but also a biological factor. As our society progresses in terms of economy, infrastructure and technology, we must continuously nurture human connection within our community.

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Six months ago, I contacted Ms Traci Ruble, the director of Sidewalk Talk, a community listening movement based in San Francisco. I told her of my intention to start Sidewalk Talk in Malaysia after explaining the mental health situation in Malaysia. She was very supportive of my intention. Together with my students, I have set up a Sidewalk Talk team in Malaysia.

Sidewalk Talk is a non-profit community listening project that aims to nurture human connection by teaching and practicing heart-centered listening in public spaces. As it promotes listening to someone in public spaces, it is relevant if we take  into consideration the fact that  there are many people who need mental health support and the fact that we will never have enough private counselling rooms for all of them.

Student volunteers undergo a few sessions of empathic listening training and apply the skills they learn during listening sessions with people who have mental health issues. Basically, they listen with the intention to understand these people, to know who they are,  to feel what they are feeling and to see things from their perspective.

We at Sidewalk Talk believe empathy is for everyone. We do not provide any advice due to experience constraints and the belief that participants know best how to solve their own problem(s). However, if a participant thinks that he need further help, we will direct him to a professional counsellor or centre.

This project also enables our student volunteers to practise experience learning while preparing them for the workforce. It gives them the opportunity to listen directly to the public as well. It is a practical hands-on experience for all future psychologists. I hope through this project, we can have more psychology graduates joining the mental health profession to cater to the demand for it in our community.

We can’t do it alone. We hope to run this project as for as long as our community needs it. As such, we would like to appeal to the public and private corporations for sponsorship. For more information about our project, please visit https://psychologymalaysia.blogspot.my/  or email us at psychologymalaysia@gmail.com

As this is a voluntary project, I would also like to appeal to the public to share information about this project with their friends. Everyone is also welcomed to join our community listening sessions. You talk, we listen.

Mengzhen Lim

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Chapter Leader

References

Kanyakumari, D. (2017, April). Depression: 40% of Malaysians will suffer from mental health issues in their lifetime. In The star online. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/Rh4KCL

Lee, L. (2017, September 18). Mental health problems could be the reason . In The star online. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/CCYByn

Majelan, S. (2016, January 12). Six divorce cases every hour among muslim couples. In Malaysiandigest. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/Hy4JsD

Malaysians are world's largest WhatsApp users. (2017, September 12). In Bernama. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/VZwBtn

McGonigal, K. (2016). The upside of stress: why stress is good for you, and how to get good at it. NY, NY: Avery.

Pillay, S. (2017, May 28). Suicide on the rise among Malaysian youth. In New straits times. Retrieved from https://goo.gl/zTXnpU

YB Hannah Yeoh visited our listening site on September 24, 2017. 

Our Fliers

Credits: Mr. Peter Loo, Miss. Carmen Su, Miss Whitney Lee

Sponsorship

Sponsorship

Our listening session was successful because of generous sponsors who share our vision.

We are now seeking sponsorship to support us.

Your sponsorship will help fund:

• Mental health awareness campaign
• Listening Events
• Listening Education

Please write to us at psychologymalaysia@gmail.com

Session 1 Poster Report

Non-Profit Community Listening Project

You Share We Listen Community Listening Project & Sidewalk Talk Malaysia

Inspired by Sidewalk Talk Community Listening

Organized by Faculty of Education, School of Psychology, SEGi College Subang Jaya

Official Communication : https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyMalaysia/

Sidewalk Talk Malaysia FB: https://www.facebook.com/sidewalktalkMY/

About

Come and talk to us about anything. Students from Segi College Subang Jaya, mostly consisting of Psychology Student, is trying to get people to communicate with each other more. The Listening Cafe Project, inspired by Sidewalk Talk, gives people in Subang Jaya a chance to be heard. It is a cafe / sidewalk style community listening project offered by trained students / volunteers. A listening session usually lasts for 10 minutes. We promised to listen without any prejudice. Sidewalk Talk Community Listening led by Ms. Traci has happened in 20 cities around the globe involving 700 volunteers world wide. Anyone can walk by our events and sit down to chat about anything they want. We offer to listen to public for free in either English, Malay, Mandarin and Tamil languages.

FAQ

FAQ

Q1 :  How do I find someone to talk ?

A :  Come to our event according to the time and venue stated , we will have our listeners ready to listen to your stories and sharings. However, it is based on first come first serve basis. You can visit our facebook website for further event details on our time and location (https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyMalaysia/).

Q2 : Do i need to register or book an appointment to attend this project ?

A : No, that will not be necessary. This event goes on a first serve basis and no booking will be needed.

Q3 : Can I come along with my friend and speak to your volunteer at the same time?

A : It is much encouraged to come for the event with friends, but however the sessions conducted in this project is one on one session and hence you and your friends will be attended separately.

Q4 : Can I attend this project if I am a foreigner ?  

A : Yes, all foreigners are welcomed to attend this project but however it would be a requirement that they know english as most of the students taking part in this project are locals who are not familiar with foreign language

Q5 : Will I get any solution or advices to the problem that I am sharing ?

A : No. Our volunteers should not be prompted or asked to give any form of advice, feedback or suggestion as this is not a Therapeutic, Psychotherapy, Diagnosis nor Counselling  Session. This event should be treated as a sharing session as it promotes individuals so they feel “heard”

Q6 : Are there any Terms and Condition in attending this event ?

A :  TERMS AND CONDITIONS

• The organiser reserved the right to assign listener to participant.

• All participants will be treated with respect and without any form of prejudice.
• Participant has a maximum of 10 minutes speaking time. After 10 minutes, listener is required to stop the session by default.
• Listener should not be prompted or asked to give any form of advice, feedback or suggestion as this is not a crisis intervention, psychotherapy, or therapeutic, counselling and diagnosis session.
• The organiser (Segi College Subang Jaya, Psychology Malaysia & Sidewalk Talk) shall not be held responsible for any mishaps, injury and / or losses resulting directly or indirectly from the participation of You Share We Listen community listening project.
• Participants should not behave in any manner which is against the law of Malaysia.
• At anytime before or during the session, you are allowed to withdraw or terminate the session without any prejudice.
• This event is not meant to make any diagnosis. Should any negative mood arise from this event, participants are advised to seek appropriate medical consultation.
• There is  no incentives for the participants in this session..
• Participants who are under the age of 18 should be consented by parents or guardians.
• The content of the conversation will be kept private and confidential. However, it is subjected to further research for educational purpose. It will not reveal your identity.  
• The organiser reserved the right to add or amend any terms without prior notice.

Q7 : Do I need to pay to attend this project and have a volunteer to attend to me ?

No, we provide free listening session and your participation is totally Free Of Charge. If you would like to make any form of donation to this cause, it will be most welcomed. This project is organized entirely by volunteers and every bit of help will be appreciated.

Q8 : Will you help in solving my problem?

A: To clarify, this project is not aimed at providing any form of solution to problems. This event is done to serve the purpose of sharing one's burden through listening. Hence, what we can do from our side is, listen to you when no one else is willing to. We shall show no form of prejudice or discrimination to our participants.

Q9 : Since you can’t help me with my problem, why should I “waste” my time participating? I don’t  want to talk to someone who just don’t understand.

A: We may not be able to help in providing a solution to the problem but however listening to your problem provides you with a chance in facing the problem itself which is a prominent step in solving it. According to Denut (2008) talking about a problem allows an individual to self reflect and allow an analysis of the problem.

Q10 : What do you means by anonymous and confidentiality? What is the information I need to provide in order to participate?

A: Anonymous in this context would be that, you can choose to tell us your real name, or you don’t  need to tell us your name (phrasing). Confidentiality, on the other hand means that, whatever you said during the listening session will not be spread to any third party but the content of the conversation is subjected to further research for educational purpose. However, we want you to be aware that there are few situation where our listener might ethically break the confidentiality. These instances include if you might potentially harm yourself or others.  We do need to collect some basic data like your age, gender, race and location. This is for research purpose.  

Q11 : If I don’t have any problem in my life, but …. can I still come and talk with you listener?

A: Yes, anyone, are welcome. Expressing our self is good practise for mental health. According to Hume (2004), expressing oneself allows negative emotion to be countered and allow a more positive outcome in life. Expressing oneself is also seen as a way to reveal repressed emotions which lead to more burdensome feeling.

Q12 : I would like to contact the listener after the event, can I ask for their contact?

A: Our listeners are not allowed to contact you or to be contacted by you after the listening session. We hope you can play your part in protecting the privacy of our volunteer. However, you are always welcome to join us for the next listening session.

Q13: I would like to date one of your listener, what can I do ?

A: The choice to date the individual is entirely a personal and coincidental situation and should be sorted and dealt with outside the event. This event however should not be taken advantage of and the purpose of the event should be respected when attending it.  

Q14 : I came to your booth, but there are too many people, I don’t get the chance to be listened ?

A: We have limited listeners for every slot and if you failed to get a listener or are too tired to wait for one, you can opt to check out our fb page to find out the next date the event will be organised.

Q15 : I have questions to ask about psychology or mental health disorder, and I heard that you all are Psychologist, can I come over to ask some question ?

A: Due to the fact that we are still undergraduate and diploma students who lack the qualification to answering questions related to mental disorder, it would be much more appropriate to avoid asking such questions to us. None of us is here as mental health expert, we are here as a volunteers who care about you. However, if the question is serious and needs immediate answer, we will take actions in redirecting you to a qualified individual or any centres with better knowledge of mental disorders.

Q16 : I want to participate, but I am shy or not feeling comfortable, why don’t you provide a private listening session ?

A: We are so sorry that at the moment, we are only providing an open style listening. However, we would like to introduce you someone, who are more professional than us, try to have a look at this link, one of them might be able to help you.  Please check the Lists of Mental Services : https://goo.gl/oMdNr9  

Q17 : Your listener has advised me to try some ways to solve my problem, however, his or her advice didn’t help much / not helpful.  

A: First and foremost we apologize for what has happened. Truthfully, it is the rule of the event that our listener should not give any advice and as such we apologize on behalf of the listener.

If it is true that our listener has advised you and to avoid more repeating situations could you kindly  tell us more about the listener, and also provide details on the date and time you joined the session, and since  every listener have name tag and id if you could remember it would be helpful  provide us with the details as well. Getting or listen to any advices during the event is at your own risks.

Q18 : I would like to be your volunteer ot listener? What should I do?

At the moment, all of our volunteers are students from Segi College. In the future, we might open it to the public, please register here , https://goo.gl/forms/OFHo1APEyIcFQMYB3 , we will contact you for updates.

Q19: What is Psychology Malaysia, is that a registered organization?
A: Psychology Malaysia is not an organization. It is the official communication page for Community Listening project.