"A time to listen, a moment to
understand"
A brief recount of the 1st Listening Session,
10th September 2017
by Leonard Soyza
I am a degree student majoring in the field of Psychology and my alma mater is SEGi College Subang Jaya. On the 10th September
2017, I was gifted with the opportunity of being the session leader for the
very first listening session that was aimed at increasing the awareness
Malaysia has on mental health and to combat the stigma of mental health seeking
behaviors, through the simples act of listening to and individuals ‘voice’. It
was indeed a very bustling scene though the day, from the workshop all the way
to the events end, where everyone was running around to get things done and to
ensure everything is set for the listening session that was about to happen
later that day. All in all, the entire event was a success, where we managed to
reach 13 people in total, there was no extreme weather condition that hindered
the event, and the teams’ morale was just soaring really high. It was a great
start and a fulfilling experience.
With Great Power, Comes
Great Responsibility, I believe in those words, because it was an important
job, being the session leader and I was not built for the task at all. However,
I did want to help people, no matter how small or insignificant my method was, I
wanted to give back to people who are in need and help them in any way I can
and that was my sole motivation through the entirety of the event and the
project. I felt that my team was a major benefactor to the success of the
event. There were really great listeners that day, and as I walked about
observing and listening to some of the conversations, I could see how deeply
involved the volunteers were in engaging with the participants and how they
listened and gave participants their undivided attention. This really showed me
that the listeners were really in line with the aim and goals of the project,
and I was able to see that in all the relieved faces of the people who came to
share their story and no complains whatsoever! I can’t forget the off-duty
volunteers who actually came forward to help bring more people in for the event
and some were helping out by distributing giveaways, relieving some of our
listeners who were worn out, among other things. The coherence of the team was
really incredible and it was truly a major factor in making the day a success,
and I felt really blessed having them by my side.
I was also given the
chance to be a listener for some people who came by to be part of the event. It
was a very interesting experience, as I was able to listen to people who had a
lot of ‘emotional load’ kept in their hearts and when they let it out to me, I somehow,
instinctively felt in tuned with that individual, and that’s when I truly experienced
empathy. That heart wrenching feeling when people share their story with you,
the sudden mindfulness you experience listening to their stories, it truly was
a unique experience for me and I was quite mesmerized at the way people tend to
share things when prompted in the right way. During one session, I was asked
for my opinion on a matter we discussed, and when I reversed the question back
to the person, more stories just came flowing out of her, and she shared even more
with me. After being an empathetic listener, I truly understood the reason
listening has such profound effects. It not only allows someone to share things
that they have locked up in their hearts, but allows them to have that peace of
mind, that space, to properly retrace their steps and come up with their own
way of facing their problem, instead of trying to cope with improper methods
like drugs or some bad habits like pornography and lack of social interaction
with people. Therefore the experience was really rewarding for me and I fell
that our listeners feel the same way.
The event in general, can
go a very long distance. The problem with many in conservative countries is
that they lack the ability to share their problems or grievances, fearing that
it may be seen as a sign of weakness. Therefore, I believe that the listening project
does have benefits in allowing the populace to have that opportunity, that
window, to come clean with anything they wish to talk about. Showing someone
that you understand allows them to take initiative to get help and being
attentive makes people feel that there is someone who cares. These are the core
qualities embedded in the making of this project which allows it to act as a
point of transition from obscurity in mental health to the clarity on its
benefits. In the field of Psychology, especially to the students, this project
is the perfect platform for them to gain exposure to different cases in the
field. They get first-hand experience in counseling, where, they engage in the
similar methods experts use for counselling, such as paraphrasing content of
the sharing which shows the person that you understood, open ended questions to
try getting more information on a certain topic that was being discussed,
reverting questions for a listeners opinion where they direct the question a
participant asks back to them to prompt self-reflection, and so on. It gives
them a chance to understand their theoretical knowledge much better, where they
can see phenomena described in a textbook or in lectures happen right in front
of them. Therefore, the event can bring about great impacts on educating both
the public and the aspiring psychologists.
In a nutshell, the
experience prompted me to listen to others more often. Giving advice is good,
however, knowing when and how to give proper advice is something we cannot dictate.
Just by being still and listening, one can help another share and ‘vent’. By
just spreading the notion of understanding, one can make a huge positive difference
to their society. Therefore, my hopes as a student and citizen, is that this project realizes its goals and its vision, and that more people in our society would come to realize the importance of mental health and how being ignorant to it can bring about very detrimental effects to society, especially the younger generation.
